Fourteen Months!

My big girl!

When I Became a Heart Mother

I found this poem on a blog yesterday and I was so touched. It is probably the most beautiful poem I have read in a long time. I do not know the author, but reading this, I know that we both have felt the same way about our children, and I feel close to her and most every other heart mother out there.

One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick... I thought, am I to blame?
I don't think I can handle this... I'm really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking... As, I'd loved her for so long.
I will not give up on this child... despite your best "advice".
I will give my child a chance... No matter what the price.

And I will learn all that I need... to help my child to thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube... My child will survive!
Will he require therapy? What if he can't gain weight?
Alright God I can do this... I will not curse our fate.
The feeding pump beeps, (at 3:00 a.m.) It serves as my reminder...
How many parents would welcome that sound? Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.
Another angel earns their wings... and I run to my sleeping child's bed...
I watch her then, for quite awhile... (Bend down and kiss her head)
Then I cry for the parents whose lives have been broken, And I look to God wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways... No matter how I try.
And yet, I trust You to hold her life, (and guide us through each day)
My mind says savor each moment she's here... But my heart whispers,"Please let her stay".

From... pacing the surgical waiting room... to sitting by her hospital bed...
From... wishing for a good night's sleep... to learning every med...
From... wondering will she be alright? to watching her reach out her hands.
With every smile, my heart just melts.. (despite life's harsh demands)
For all who see that faded line... I look to them and smile...
You see, my child is loved so much... I would face any trial.
That same scar I trace with my finger... (It's the door to her beautiful heart)
I never guessed how much I'd love her... (Just as YOU loved her right from the start)

A heart mom is always a heart mom... (Now wise beyond her years)
And for those who have angels in heaven... Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Everyday I will strive to remember... You chose me for her (and no other)
And I will embrace that beautiful day... When I became a "heart mother".

~Stephanie Husted

Family Update

It sure has been an eventful month! Our family has had so many changes in the last few weeks and we've all been very busy! I still can't believe it, but we have moved back to Georgia. This is a change we made due to Brooks' job and it is wonderful. He is now working from home and traveling more, but he's still working for the same company. It's really nice having him around during the day. I know he's enjoying it, too.

We left Alabama the last weekend in August. It was a pretty uneventful move, but like anyone knows, moving is stressful in and of itself. This is the first move we've had to make with kids, which makes it that much more complicated. Anna Brooke is still asking when we are going back. Poor thing--it seems as though she is not a fan of change. Emma Kate is doing well, other than having an ear infection at the moment. We met with her new cardiologist and pediatrician a couple of weeks ago. I'm so glad we went ahead and made appointments with them as soon as we got here. I just wanted to be sure we knew our new doctors, in case something were to happen.

I am glad to be back in Georgia. We're a lot closer to family and friends, which is wonderful. It kind of felt like we were on an island when we lived in Birmingham, even though we had my sister nearby. Other than that, our closest family members were at least two hours away. Now they are no more than two minutes, which is super nice! (We do miss our friends, though! Hi, Reynolds!)

Part of me lately has been kind of missing Birmingham. I guess it is not really the place, its more the events that happened while we lived there. Brooks and I spent the majority of our marriage there; both of our girls were born there. Anna Brooke and I spent so much good quality time together for her first two and a half years while we lived there. It was such a fun time! I think about that pretty often now. Hopefully I will be able to get AB in to a preschool pretty soon (if there are still any openings) and that will give Emma Kate and I some focused time together. That has always been really important to me. I realize a lot of moms aren't able to be at home with their kids full time, so I never want to take that for granted and spend as much time as I can with my girls.

Today we discovered our local library. It was fun! We made it just in time for story time. There was another little girl there, who was maybe a year and a half I guessed. The woman with her (who I assumed was her grandmother) asked me how old EK was. When I told her 13 months, her mouth fell open and she just stared. Seriously. Finally, after what seemed like five minutes of staring, she said, "But she's so tiny!" I just said, "Yes, she is." But what I wanted to say was, "Uh, yeah!! She's also had two lifesaving operations, not to mention another stint in the hospital for almost a month!" She also asked a series of other annoying questions, such as how many teeth she has (does this really matter?) and blah blah...

I don't know why it got under my skin so badly. Maybe its because I actually am a little worried about her size. She's about 17 pounds and she's 13 months old, which apparently is not even on the growth chart, according to the doctors. But she's come so far, so its hard for me to feel bad about it for long. And actually, I secretly like having a small baby. It just makes me feel like I can hold her for longer. Is that silly? I better wrap this up because it is storming pretty bad. Did any of you other heart moms have smaller babies and get annoyed with people for commenting on their size?

Angel Cali

Dear Friends,

There is a family who has been on my heart a lot on the past month or so. Adrienne and Thomas Orrock had their precious little girl, Cali, on September 5th. A few months before she was born, she was diagnosed with HLHS. Adrienne and I have been in contact for a while now, through e-mail and Facebook, and I could tell she was so very excited to become a mom. After Cali was born, she fought so hard every step of the way, but after just a short week, she returned to heaven.

I am absolutely heartbroken over this and wish that I could do more for this sweet family. I wanted to ask you, friends, to pray for the Orrocks. I cannot even pretend to know what they are going through right now, but I imagine that their grief is so overwhelming and I know that they would welcome the prayers and support. If you would, please bless her family through your prayers. You can read Cali's story here.
Adrienne and Thomas, you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. I know that Cali felt your great love for her in her short life. Blessings to you.

Party Time!

Emma Kate's birthday was awesome! Thank you for all the sweet comments and birthday wishes! Here are some pictures from her special day and from her birthday party!

These were taken on her actual birthday.

Can you tell she enjoyed her cupcake? It was her first time eating chocolate. Or cake for that matter.
We had a joint birthday party with my sister Erin, her husband Josh and our little nephew, Jackson. (His birthday is today). Since their birthdays are only one week apart, we thought it would be fun to celebrate together. And it was--I have proof!

Enough already!! I need my cake!

I'll take that, thank you!

Check out the hair.

Sweet birthday girl.

(I really wish Jackson's eyes weren't closed in this one.)

Erin took this one. Emma Kate was seriously digging into her ear with her thumb. I ended up getting pink frosting out like 3 days later.

So thirsty!

Happy 1st Birthday, Emma Kate!

We are so excited to celebrate Emma Kate's first birthday today!
Enjoy the slideshow I made (and be prepared, its about 7 minutes long!). Make sure your speakers are turned on.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Birthday Wishes

We are so thankful to all our family, friends (new and old) who have traveled this journey with us for the last year. You are part of Emma Kate's journey, too! If you would like to email or comment to send a birthday message to Emma Kate, that would be awesome! I am going to get this blog put into book form for her and I think birthday wishes would make a great addition to the book. Thank you for all your prayers for Emma Kate during the first year of her life!