When I Became a Heart Mother

I found this poem on a blog yesterday and I was so touched. It is probably the most beautiful poem I have read in a long time. I do not know the author, but reading this, I know that we both have felt the same way about our children, and I feel close to her and most every other heart mother out there.

One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick... I thought, am I to blame?
I don't think I can handle this... I'm really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking... As, I'd loved her for so long.
I will not give up on this child... despite your best "advice".
I will give my child a chance... No matter what the price.

And I will learn all that I need... to help my child to thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube... My child will survive!
Will he require therapy? What if he can't gain weight?
Alright God I can do this... I will not curse our fate.
The feeding pump beeps, (at 3:00 a.m.) It serves as my reminder...
How many parents would welcome that sound? Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.
Another angel earns their wings... and I run to my sleeping child's bed...
I watch her then, for quite awhile... (Bend down and kiss her head)
Then I cry for the parents whose lives have been broken, And I look to God wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways... No matter how I try.
And yet, I trust You to hold her life, (and guide us through each day)
My mind says savor each moment she's here... But my heart whispers,"Please let her stay".

From... pacing the surgical waiting room... to sitting by her hospital bed...
From... wishing for a good night's sleep... to learning every med...
From... wondering will she be alright? to watching her reach out her hands.
With every smile, my heart just melts.. (despite life's harsh demands)
For all who see that faded line... I look to them and smile...
You see, my child is loved so much... I would face any trial.
That same scar I trace with my finger... (It's the door to her beautiful heart)
I never guessed how much I'd love her... (Just as YOU loved her right from the start)

A heart mom is always a heart mom... (Now wise beyond her years)
And for those who have angels in heaven... Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Everyday I will strive to remember... You chose me for her (and no other)
And I will embrace that beautiful day... When I became a "heart mother".

~Stephanie Husted