Today I had my last appointment with my wonderful doctor, Dr. McKenzie. I am really going to miss him and the nurses and going to my appointments over at OBGYN-South! My appointment went really well and I left feeling a lot better than I have lately about the rest of my prenatal care. Basically, Dr. M explained that I will go back to see Dr. Owen (who diagnosed Emma Kate) and they will make sure that I am taken care of by that office. If for some reason I am not comfortable with Dr. Owen and that group of doctors, Dr. M's office will look into another Maternal/Fetal OB at UAB. Essentially, they want to be assured, just as I do, that I will be well taken care of! That made me feel wonderful and a lot less stressed! Dr. M also encouraged me to call or email him if I want clarification or just his thoughts on anything else that I will encounter over at UAB. I really appreciated that.
I don't go over to see Dr. Owen again until June 12. My next doctor visit will be with Dr. Colvin, Emma Kate's pediatric cardiologist, next Wednesday, the 28th.
I just got finished reading the story of a little boy named Phillip, who was born in 1996 with HLHS. He was diagnosed after birth. His story was not easy for me to read, as I am sure that Emma Kate will be going through just about all he went through. I teared up quite a lot and wondered how I will feel when I have to face these situations. What I liked about this site was that it was very readable (if that makes any sense.) I am assuming that Phillip's dad wrote out his story and it is very thorough and explains all that they went through really well. If you are interested in reading it, click here. I found this link through Erika's blog on her baby, Samson. She's got a great list of resources, and I look at them a lot. (Thank you, Erika!)
Also, thanks ladies, for the sweet words of encouragement! I know in my heart that I couldn't have changed anything with EK's situation but I really appreciate all of the reassurance. :)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Today I went to Babies 'R Us to look for an inflatable toddler bed for when we travel. Since Anna Brooke has smoothly transitioned into a "big girl bed" we will not be bringing her Pack 'N Play with us when we visit the grandparents. Not to mention she is probably too big for it and once Emma Kate is born, she will occupy the Pack 'N Play. So I am trying to find a good alternative. They didn't have anything close to what I was looking for, but it was so much fun wandering (actually chasing after Anna Brooke) through the aisles of baby stuff. I don't think I had been in Babies 'R Us in forever! I found some really sweet baby stuff that I would love to get when the time gets closer for Emma Kate to arrive. And I realized when I was looking at all the pinks and yellows and pretty ribbons and soft blankets that I am so glad we are having another girl! I was definitely glad before, but for some reason, I just got really excited about it.
Actually, it has been kind of hard for me the past couple of days. I keep picturing this birth as being harder emotionally for me since we will have so much going on right after EK is born. No longer do I have the peace of mind I had before she was diagnosed with HLHS. I will have to surrender my precious baby to doctors that will perform some very detailed surgery on her. Not to mention she will be in the NICU for probably a month after she's born. It is just so scary and I hurt for her. I know that this surgery is the only way she will survive, but I still hurt that she has to go through it in the first place. Yesterday Brooks was reading a blog about a little boy with this same heart condition and it was describing how he was going back for his third and final surgery. I just started crying and asking myself, "Why does she have to go through this? I don't want her to!" Emma Kate is moving around in my womb so much now! It is incredible! I love knowing that she is doing okay. I wish I could keep her in me forever so that she doesn't have to face all that she will after she's born.
I know I can't blame myself for anything, but I've been questioning a lot of my actions in the beginning of this pregnancy. I know her heart was forming by week 8 and I often wonder, (mostly in the back of my mind, I don't usually voice it): is the reason EK has HLHS because I didn't do something right? Did I not eat the right foods? Did I forget to take my prenatal vitamins one day? What happened? Could I have prevented it? I don't usually stay for very long in that place because I know there is nothing I can do now except pray for her and her doctors and know that God is in control!
Thanks for your continued prayers. :)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Peace
I am so thankful that today we had our appointment with Dr. Colvin, the pediatric cardiologist. God truly answered our prayers in that we had all of our questions answered and felt such a peace about everything Emma Kate will go through when she is born.
Of course, we started off sitting in the waiting room for awhile. There was one pregnant woman in the waiting room and an older girl. Then a tiny little girl and her daddy came in and all I could think about was how I will probably spend the first few years of Emma Kate's life taking her to visit this doctor in the same office. This little girl was so tiny and precious, and she looked so happy. It made me tear up when she smiled at her daddy. I knew she must be a heart patient since she was waiting on the same doctor we were seeing, and that made me sad. But it also gave me hope. Lately, when I have been feeling really sad about Emma Kate's heart and wondering what her life will be like after she's born, I go and look at these other stories of "heart kids" and see that they are living a fairly normal life. That gives me a lot of peace and comfort. I know God uses these people to comfort others and I pray that one day I might be able to be of some help to others, too.
During our appointment with Dr. Colvin, he did an echocardiogram (which is basically an ultrasound of the heart) and looked at her heart. It was almost the same exact thing that Dr. Owen did yesterday. However, Dr. Colvin explained every little detail he saw on the screen. It really amazed me that he was so incredibly knowledgeable on the heart and what he was seeing. To a regular person, (me) it just looks like a fuzzy black and white screen, but he explained to us that Emma Kate's heart, with the exception to her left ventricle and aorta, seem to be in good condition. The blood was flowing in the directions that it needed to and the openings that needed to be there were there! It was good news! I will go back to see him again in 1 month.
Tonight, around 6:30, my regular doctor, Dr. McKenzie called me. (He is also the doctor that delivered Anna Brooke.) Basically, he called to tell me that he has been thinking and praying for us and that he got a report from Dr. Colvin today and was going over it. He also gave me some disappointing news. Dr. McKenzie explained that the relational side of him wants me to deliver at Brookwood Hospital (where his practice is, and where I had hoped to deliver Emma Kate) but from a medical standpoint, he said it would be better if I were to deliver at UAB Hospital. Dr. Colvin also addressed this in our appointment today. Emma Kate won't need to have her first surgery until a week or two after she is born. However, if something were to go wrong during her delivery or right after, we would need to be at UAB right away. Therefore, as Dr. McKenzie explained, it would be better medically for me to deliver at UAB. This means that I will only have one more appointment with him and for the remainder of my prenatal care, I will see the doctors from Dr. Owen's office.
At first I was kind of upset about this, mainly from my impression of Dr. Owen yesterday. However, Dr. McKenzie seemed very confident and happy with him, and I do trust what he says and recommends. So I have a peace about it. Actually, I had no idea until tonight that Dr. Owen even delivered babies. I thought he just identified problems in utero. Apparently he is an OB doctor as well. Dr. McKenzie also explained that since I will be at UAB and will have new doctors, there will probably also be other residents and fellows, who are doctors but are learning a more specialized area, to assist in Emma Kate's birth and/or my prenatal care. It made me think of Grey's Anatomy for some reason. I am actually not nervous about this, though. I know God's will is being done in my life, my family's lives and Emma Kate's life. I know it is in His control and that all things are being done for His glory.
This birth will probably be different in many ways from Anna Brooke's. It will be a completely different hospital with different doctors and nurses and things will be w-a-y different after Emma Kate is born. But I have peace about it. And I know that God is giving me this peace because He is in control.
Of course, we started off sitting in the waiting room for awhile. There was one pregnant woman in the waiting room and an older girl. Then a tiny little girl and her daddy came in and all I could think about was how I will probably spend the first few years of Emma Kate's life taking her to visit this doctor in the same office. This little girl was so tiny and precious, and she looked so happy. It made me tear up when she smiled at her daddy. I knew she must be a heart patient since she was waiting on the same doctor we were seeing, and that made me sad. But it also gave me hope. Lately, when I have been feeling really sad about Emma Kate's heart and wondering what her life will be like after she's born, I go and look at these other stories of "heart kids" and see that they are living a fairly normal life. That gives me a lot of peace and comfort. I know God uses these people to comfort others and I pray that one day I might be able to be of some help to others, too.
During our appointment with Dr. Colvin, he did an echocardiogram (which is basically an ultrasound of the heart) and looked at her heart. It was almost the same exact thing that Dr. Owen did yesterday. However, Dr. Colvin explained every little detail he saw on the screen. It really amazed me that he was so incredibly knowledgeable on the heart and what he was seeing. To a regular person, (me) it just looks like a fuzzy black and white screen, but he explained to us that Emma Kate's heart, with the exception to her left ventricle and aorta, seem to be in good condition. The blood was flowing in the directions that it needed to and the openings that needed to be there were there! It was good news! I will go back to see him again in 1 month.
Tonight, around 6:30, my regular doctor, Dr. McKenzie called me. (He is also the doctor that delivered Anna Brooke.) Basically, he called to tell me that he has been thinking and praying for us and that he got a report from Dr. Colvin today and was going over it. He also gave me some disappointing news. Dr. McKenzie explained that the relational side of him wants me to deliver at Brookwood Hospital (where his practice is, and where I had hoped to deliver Emma Kate) but from a medical standpoint, he said it would be better if I were to deliver at UAB Hospital. Dr. Colvin also addressed this in our appointment today. Emma Kate won't need to have her first surgery until a week or two after she is born. However, if something were to go wrong during her delivery or right after, we would need to be at UAB right away. Therefore, as Dr. McKenzie explained, it would be better medically for me to deliver at UAB. This means that I will only have one more appointment with him and for the remainder of my prenatal care, I will see the doctors from Dr. Owen's office.
At first I was kind of upset about this, mainly from my impression of Dr. Owen yesterday. However, Dr. McKenzie seemed very confident and happy with him, and I do trust what he says and recommends. So I have a peace about it. Actually, I had no idea until tonight that Dr. Owen even delivered babies. I thought he just identified problems in utero. Apparently he is an OB doctor as well. Dr. McKenzie also explained that since I will be at UAB and will have new doctors, there will probably also be other residents and fellows, who are doctors but are learning a more specialized area, to assist in Emma Kate's birth and/or my prenatal care. It made me think of Grey's Anatomy for some reason. I am actually not nervous about this, though. I know God's will is being done in my life, my family's lives and Emma Kate's life. I know it is in His control and that all things are being done for His glory.
This birth will probably be different in many ways from Anna Brooke's. It will be a completely different hospital with different doctors and nurses and things will be w-a-y different after Emma Kate is born. But I have peace about it. And I know that God is giving me this peace because He is in control.
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