Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Her Diagnosis

We had an appointment in the Fetal Anomolies clinic today at UAB hospital with Dr. John Owen. He performed an ultrasound and we got several measurements on Emma Kate's body and he indeed confirmed a diagnosis of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The technology was pretty amazing; we were able to see the blood flow in and out of her heart. Dr. Owen was obviously very educated and knew exactly what he was looking at. But not all of my questions were answered today. I had written down a list of about 25 questions. But he was not the person to ask these questions to. He was very "textbook" as Brooks put it. He just described what was going on, but there wasn't a whole lot of empathy going on... I think he was just trying to do his job and the way he explained things was very clinical and technical. I just left the office thinking that now I have more questions than answers.

Of course, this diagnosis was not news that we wanted to hear. But we continue to be faithful in prayer. Thank you, everyone, who has been praying for Emma Kate and our family. Your prayers mean so very much to us! I guess to describe the way I am feeling is to say that I am not quite sure. I just don't know how to process it. All I do at this point is cry when I think about my daughter being born with HLHS. I know that this will be an uphill battle we are facing, but I also believe that God's will for our lives is perfect, and that no mistake has been made. I look at Anna Brooke and I think about when she was born and how much love I have for her and it makes things hard. I think that as a first-time mom, I was paranoid about little things with her. I can't imagine how I am going to feel when Emma Kate is born.

She will, indeed need surgery. Tomorrow morning at 9:30 we have an appointment with a Pediatric Cardiologist named Dr. Colvin. I pray that we get more answers and more comfort knowing what will be the outcome of this condition. I pray that this doctor is more empathetic and allows us time to ask all the questions we have and gives us clear answers. More tomorrow...

Monday, April 28, 2008

Healed

With all of the wonderful sweet messages, emails, comments, and especially prayers coming our way for sweet Emma Kate, I thought I would share some lyrics to a song that has touched me recently. My mom recieved an email that reminded her that we should certainly be praying for healing for this little girl.
"By his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
I believe with all my heart that the Lord will heal Emma Kate. Whether in or out of the womb is unseen by us. It is my job, as her mother to pray and to trust that God is going to take care of her and He will heal her. The lyrics are to a song called Healed by Nichole Nordeman.
We stutter and we stammer til You say us
A symphony of chaos til You play us
Phrases on the pages of unknown, til you read us into poetry and prose
We are kept and we are captive til You free us
Vaguely unimagined til You dream us
Aimlessly unguided til You lead us home.
And by Your voice we speak
By Your strength no longer weak, we are no longer weak
By Your wounds we are healed
By Your wounds we are healed
Passed over and passed by until You claim us
Orphaned and abandoned til You name us
Hidden and disclosed til You expose our hearts
And by Your death we live
It is by Your gift that we might give, that we might give
What kind of love would take Your shame and spill his blood for You?
And save us by His wounds...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Her Heart

Tuesday, April 22, 2008, is a day that I won't soon forget.


I had my appointment and follow-up sono from last month. The reason I had to have a follow-up sono is because the technician had a hard time getting a good picture of Emma Kate's heart. (This same situation happened with Anna Brooke, so I was not alarmed.) However, this time, the tech, named Lee, kept checking and re-checking and said she couldn't see all 4 chambers. After about 20 minutes of having a tough time, she went to get the other tech, Abby, so that she could check out her heart. Abby was also unable to see Emma Kate's heart. I was still not too alarmed, I figured that Emma Kate was just in a difficult position. But the facial expressions on both Lee & Abby made me feel less secure. Then Lee said that I may need to see another doctor with more specialized equipment who could see the heart better. She said she would go get the doctor to have a look. At this point, I was starting to panic a little bit. Usually doctors don't come into the sono room, do they?! Could something possibly be wrong with my daughter's heart? Why else would the doctor come in to look?

While Lee was gone and Abby continued go over and over my belly with the wand in an attempt to get a good look, I started to tear up. I didn't want to say or ask anything for fear of hearing bad news. About 10 minutes later, the doctor, not my regular doctor, but still a doctor I trust, came in. He immediately came over to me and held my hand. I really started crying at that point because I thought, "why would he come comfort me if nothing was wrong?"


After that, the doctor basically said, "This is what we think is wrong: your daughter may have Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome." After that he said that they are all very talented doctors and sonographers, but they are not heart specialists. I am being referred to a specialist in Maternal/Fetal Medicine at UAB hospital. He went on to say this is not a common condition and that they have seen this one other time in 10 years.


Either way, I went home not knowing anything about HLHS. So immediately when I got home and told Brooks our news (he was not at the appointment with me) we did a lot of research online. I was glad to find a lot of information on this subject. If you are interested in knowing more, here is a link with some basic information. Of course, we did a lot of crying and praying that afternoon, still not really understanding what all this means.


Since we have found out this news, our hearts have been heavy, but we know that God is in control! That brings us so much comfort. We are overwhelmed with all of the prayers and support we are getting from others. Brooks even started a blog describing his thoughts on everything, and we've had lots of people let us know that they are praying for us and for Emma Kate. We are SO GRATEFUL! Thanks to everyone who is praying with us!

Please be praying for us this Wednesday, when we have our appointment at UAB hospital. Our appointment is 8 am CST. I will keep updating as we get news.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

And her name is...

Emma Kate!

It actually wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be to name this child! The name has been at the back of my mind for years. This is my great-aunt's name. I love family names and I just love double names, too. (So, yes, we are going to be calling her by both!) Actually, I also found out that my great-grandmother and Brooks' great-grandmother were also named Emma. Isn't that neat!?

So, Emma Kate has been getting stronger by the day! I can feel her kicks more and more. I read yesterday that at this point in my pregnancy she should weigh around 1 pound. How exciting!

I have been seeing pairs of little girls everywhere and it just warms my heart. I am very excited about bringing another little girl into this world. I know Anna Brooke will be a wonderful big sister. We are telling her all the time about Emma Kate and I am not so sure she understands anything at this point. We would like to prepare her as much as possible, though. :)

I am feeling great! My energy level is really good and I am so proud that I am past the half-way point! Only 18 weeks to go, yay! I enjoy being pregnant, but I am very excited about her arrival. I am also beginning to realize that my time alone with Anna Brooke is going fast. The weeks are going to fly by, I know. I am taking every opportunity to spend quality time with her and let her know how much Mommy loves her. I am afraid she might get jealous when Emma Kate arrives and that would break my heart, but I am hopeful that she will be my little helper and just love on her baby sister! So, be praying about that. My next doctor visit is Tuesday and I get to have another ultrasound, yay! The technician said she couldn't get a great view of the 4 chambers of her heart last time, (obviously it is beating and everything is ok) but we are going to take a peek at her again just to get a good picture of her heart.

And I think we'll double-check to make sure that Emma Kate is 100% positively a girl! :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Name that Baby!

For the past few days all I have been thinking about is what to name this little girl! Brooks & I had a boys name picked out. It won't work on a girl! :) We have a few options that we like, and people keep on asking me what we are going to name her. But I honestly have no clue! I thought this would be easier!

Anna Brooke's name was picked out even before she was conceived. So that was an easy one. We didn't have a boys name at all when we were pregnant with her. I would love to start calling Baby Sister by her name... if only I knew what it was. I think that I won't give out any names until after we decide firmly what her name is going to be. I just don't want anyone else's opinion, truthfully. Once we have a name, we'll tell the world, but until then, Baby Sister it is!
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